The build-up of work-life stress reached a peak
On this particular day, I was feeling overwhelmed by workload and time demands of my work and my life. My life felt out of balance and stressful. The litany of challenging things going on included:
- An impending hurricane and related anxious preparations
- A major convention was in town with traffic and security issues so our entire office was working remotely
- An office remodeling that has caused allergies and related illness, sick time and medical expenses
- Extra expenses from the last tropical storm for tree damage had stressed my budget
- Emotional challenges which resulted in ending a new dating relationship
- Committments to help a friend who is also stressed and unclear about what she wants with her website
- Parental health issues always on my mind
- Our normal office environment with an open plan has gotten progressively louder and more crowded as we add more staff.
- There is an emphasis on group fun activities on work time which take precious time away from my work schedule, but peer pressure makes me feel guilty or anti-social when I decline
I’m feeling stressed on a daily basis and it’s not improving. On a conference call with my boss and another coworker, I felt that she was unusually short and dismissive, almost rude. On the next conference call, I had the same feeling as she was short and seemed impatient with me. I hung up and felt distressed, anxious, angry, hurt, and somewhat embarrassed that I was treated that way by my boss in front of my peers…”jangly” as I describe this feeling.
A different approach is needed
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” –Albert Einstein
I decided to try something new I’ve been studying. The Institute of HeartMath’s “Inner Ease” techniques for dealing with stress and anxiety and overwhelm. I used the Inner Ease technique for about 10 minutes to get myself calmed down and refocused from the heart.
Then I called my boss back and we had a heart-to-heart chat in which I was able to calmly and compassionately talk with her about how I felt. I had the insight to talk about the differences I perceive in our mental and communication styles, how they can complement each other and I asked how I might help make our work together go more smoothly. She was taken by surprise and seemed to genuinely be sorry that it appeared that she was frustrated, annoyed or impatient with me. She explained that she has issues at home with her two young kids and nanny, is feeling pressure to move things along more quickly from her boss, not getting the cooperation she expected from other teams, and is generally overwhelmed herself. I felt genuine care and compassion for her that I hadn’t felt in the past. I was able to recall those same feelings when I was a working mom with a small child. It seemed to totally reframe the attitude I had when I thought about our work together. It felt good.
It was a very positive experience that I honestly couldn’t have had from the state I was in and have been in for the last few months. In ten minutes, I was able to turn things around remarkably. I can’t wait to continue the practice regularly for deeper and more lasting results in all areas of my life!
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